Mr.Toad's Wild Ride: Phuket Edition

Our flight from Singapore to Phuket was short and sweet, especially compared to our recent experiences. Arriving at the Phuket Airport marked only the beginning of our travel, as there was still a taxi ride to our hotel. For those less familiar with Thailand, or more specifically the island of Phuket, it is a large island at the south tip of the country separated from the body of Thailand by at most a few Km of the Andaman Sea.

https://www.google.co.th/maps/place/Phuket/@7.9980858,98.2711688,11z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x305031e2c462524f:0xe9ca9a85063dba21!8m2!3d7.9519331!4d98.3380884

The airport is near the north of the island, where as the ferry dock we were scheduled to leave from in the morning, and subsequently our hotel choice, was significantly further south in the district of Chalong. The taxi ride from the airport was going to be roughly an hour. Laura had the hotel name saved in her email, and the taxi driver handed us his phone for us to punch in the details for Google Maps to provide him directions. She typed in Chalong Boutique Inn selected the first match (all in Thai) and we were off.

The first 40 min of the drive were as expected, we watched out the window as we drove by strips of slightly run down sprawl and marveled at the beauty and intricacy of the Thai written language. We remarked
at billboards warning against the purchase of Buddha heads (only the full body of Buddha is to be portrayed for proper reverence) or getting Buddha tattoos. Another shocking and slightly terrifying sight was the state of the power lines. All over the city lining the streets were disturbing rats nests of tangled and overstuffed electrcal wires. We assumed based on their proximity to the ground (some as low as 4-5 ft. off the ground) and their constancy that there were not lethal to the touch, but we did not test this theory.

As we continued towards our destination, our taxi driver broke from his near constant stream of mumbling in Thai to himself to try to tell us that the hotel we were going to (and had prepaid for the ride) was not within the area we had prepaid for. He said that he was taking us past the district of Chalong to Karon and that it was 200 baht more than we had prepaid. We meekly argued that the name of the hotel was the Chalong Boutique, so how could it be in Karon? We had little evidence to back up our claim, and he was continuing to press the matter in very broken and slurred English. We got to Chalong, where it seemed that he said that unless we paid another 200 baht (bringing the taxi ride up from 800 to 1000 baht roughly $30 USD which is staggeringly expensive around here) he would drop us off here in Chalong and not take us to our hotel. We rolled our eyes and pulled 200 more baht out and passed it forward. He then reacted the total opposite to what he had just been mumbling about saying "no, no. no it's okay, I take you" conveying that we did not need to pay extra before taking the money anyway and placing it out of our reach into the front passenger seat. Laura and exchanged confused and irritated looks at the language barrier and mixed signal we kept receiving. About 10 min after this, Laura, who was more familiar with the layout of Phuket because of the hotel booking and research she did, began to realize that we were not heading to where she thought our hotel was. About 10 min after that, the cab pulled up to the side of the road where the Google Maps had taken us. There was no Chalong Boutique Inn. He looked at the phone and attempted to communicate something about our apparent arrival and asking if we knew where it was. When we of course did not, he turned around and pulled up to a nearby street vendor to ask for directions and then stop for a smoke break, further elongating the feelings of frustration and uneasiness we were feeling. When he finished his cigarette and rapid Thai conversation with a street vendor, we took off back in the direction we came to attempt to find our hotel. About 5 min more of driving and a turn off the main road led us to a cluster of hotels, none of which were ours. Finally exasperated, exhausted and ready for dinner in a big way, Laura decided to switch the phone off airplane mode (adding to the already expensive trip) to access the 3G connection to check her email and attempt to confirm the address. Sure enough after 2 min of searching, she was able to confirm that the address Google Maps provided was wrong (by only a few letters) and the address was back in Chalong, where we previously sure that it was. Seemingly unwilling to chase wild geese with us any longer, the taxi driver requested the phone number and proceeded to call our hotel for directions from our current location. The directions he received were only good for about 10 more minutes of driving back towards Chalong from Karon, when he pulled off to the side of the road and levied another call to the Hotel this time louder and faster. This phone call only achieved about 2 more minutes of driving before a third phone call was made, this time yelling and obviously confused. After the third call, we went only about 200 yards forward before we saw our hotel and a man standing outside with a phone in hand. Our driver, however, did not see it and we had to shout "There it is" three or four times before he saw and stopped well beyond. I have never been so grateful to get out of a taxi. As a parting gift for our troubles, I quickly and quietly snatched the 200 baht still sitting in the passenger front seat as the driver unloaded the bags, and we proceeded to check in. Giant sigh of relief and relaxation were uttered as the door closed to our hotel room.

Our room at the Chalong Boutique Inn

After dropping off our luggage and connecting to the WiFi, we quickly scoped out a place to eat within walking distance and preceded to drink several beers and play pool at a bar called Happy Days. The next morning it was up and at 'em again, as we took a ferry to Koh Lanta for some beach R&R.